If I'm being honest (which I try to be here often, there's enough highlight reels) its been a rough season lately. Lets preface that by saying I am so incredibly thankful for this pregnancy, this little life, and the chance to grow our family. 

But holy refining, batman. Days upon days of extreme sickness, days where getting out of bed means nothing staying down, moments of your three year old rubbing your back as your head is in the toilet... its classy. It's ugly to see how much I love comfort and how I react when it's stripped away. It's also made me realize how much I muscle it and try to earn it- there's been so darkness and frustration in feeling like I'm failing as a wife, mom, friend, business owner... I'm behind in everything. EVERYTHING. Yet I'm so convicted today that none of that defines me nor allows me to "measure up." Ahh grace. SO much grace.

I will look back and this will have been a short season. There's so many others carrying heavier and harder burdens. But if you're in a rough one right now, comparing sideways sure doesn't make it even easier or any harder. Sometimes its just heavy. So instead of looking sideways, let's look up. There's Jesus. 

When I first got sick we were prepping for Easter season. Talk about complaining about your own suffering as we ponder Jesus on the cross. Then this past Sunday we sang a worship set that was fresh water for my soul and heard a sermon about HEAVEN! At one point, a young man came out on stage and blew a trumpet - the one the Bible says marks the meaning "Done with the past! The presence of the Lord is with us!" Hearing it brought tears to my eyes. I'll share the sermon here once it's available, it was so powerful. All things made new, such a promise.

So, I've never lacked for words and I apologize for rambling, but if you're in a heavy season, I'm sending a hug your way. I don't have quick answers but I'll sit with you and cry a little, and we can play some worship music and get our eyes on Jesus. How quickly the stuff in this world dims when we are stripped of comfort and ease. In this season, if that's what we can limp through learning, it'll have been sweet. Clinging to that hope!